As you probably already know, I do a lot of sales training. I coach people literally all around the world to increase their closing ratios and to help them get their products and services out to as many people as possible. I’ve worked with a lot of network marketing companies, a lot of direct sales professionals, and of course a lot of parents.
One of the biggest questions that I get asked, is, “How do I overcome this fear of rejection? How do I put myself out there a lot more often, and overcome this fear that I have?”
Today I’ll give you three tips that you can use in order to put yourself out there a lot more.
#1 The first tip has to do with making it a game. Of course as you know, sales to one degree or another is a numbers game. Is that all it is? No, but to a degree of course, you’re going to have to put yourself out there. You’re not going to get any sales if you never talk to anybody. A lot of times, people are like, “I really want to put myself out there, but any time I hear a No, I just crumble.”
What you want to do, is you want to begin to link No’s with high amounts of pleasure.
For example, when people that work for me and go do expos and trade shows, they set up a booth. When people are walking by, they will call out to the people to get their attention and hopefully get their contact information. Well as you can imagine, when there are thousands of people walking by, some people are going to be nice, and other people not so much. Some people will say no regardless of what you do or have to offer without even finding out what it is that you have to offer.
For a long time, some of the people that work for me were like, “Eric, this is getting really hard. People at this expo just are not being receptive. What can we do?” And I said, “Make it a game. Keep track of how many Yes’s and how many No’s you get. Once you reach a certain number of No’s (let’s say it was 12 No’s in two hours), give yourself a reward. Whether that’s a little piece of chocolate, or going and getting a massage, or whatever it is.” This way, every single time you get “rejected” or hear a “No,” it actually gets you one step closer to that reward.
What happens is, every time you get a “No,” It’s like, “Ah, I’m one step closer to this reward!” It actually links hearing the word No with high amounts of pleasure. And of course, do the same thing with hearing a “Yes.” You don’t want to purposely try to get people to say No. The purpose is to get as many people to say Yes as possible, right? That’s one idea.
If you are someone that has your own business, of course you are constantly reaching out to people. Maybe you are going door-to-door, maybe you set up booths at a trade show, maybe you do cold calls. Whatever it is, give yourself a certain number goal every day or every week of No’s. Every time you get a “No,” mark it on a paper or track it somehow. Once you reach a certain number of “No’s,” give yourself some type of really awesome reward.
Again, that will create that pleasure within your mind. It will link receiving a No with high amounts of pleasure and make it a lot easier.
#2 Make sure you are taking good care of yourself. Most of us don’t do well with rejection regardless, right? One of the biggest reasons why is rejection can put us down into what’s called Stage 2 depression, if we’re not careful.
We call this, “Rejection Depression.” Have you ever experienced this? This is one of the reasons why so many people fear reaching out to people because they’re like, “If I’m rejected, then I’m gonna be depressed.” “If I ask that girl for a date, and she tells me No, then that’s gonna feel terrible.” “If I ask my boss for a raise and he says No, that’s gonna put me down into depression.”
The way to combat that is by making sure you are taking good care of yourself. In our company we call it ”Blue screen time.” This is taking time for yourself every day just for that self nurture, that self care. That of course includes eating good foods and getting a full night’s sleep every night.
For some people, like myself, every single day I’ve gotta have “Me time.” I’ve gotta sit in my “dad chair,” and I’ve gotta just veg just for a period of time. That’s actually one of the ways I do that self-care.
When you are constantly getting that self care, it allows you to stay out of Stage 2 Depression, and it makes “No” much easier to handle.
- Create a little quota for yourself every time someone says no, then that gets you one step closer to your goal.
- Make sure you’re taking good care of yourself.
- You actually can link hearing “No” with high amounts of pleasure using NLP.
My wife and I just returned from a quick trip to Yellowstone over the weekend, and she is currently working on writing her first book, I’m super proud of her, and she’s working on an online program for mothers, which is gonna help people all around the world. I can’t wait to see the type of effect that her new online program is going to have on people!
She and I are introverts, and she has a personality type where she is extremely sensitive to hearing “No.” She is what’s called a “white” personality, so she thrives by keeping the peace, by not stirring the pot. Obviously as you put yourself out there, it can stir the pot.
Regardless of how amazing you are, regardless of how awesome your product or service is, there’s gonna be people that don’t like you. Especially as you begin to reach out to people on social media, with FaceBook ads and what not, you’re gonna have some “trolls.”
One of the things we did while we were gone, is we used NLP to literally break the pattern in her brain which linked putting herself out there with fear and pain, and we rerouted those neurons in her brain to link it with high amounts of pleasure and excitement.
The only difference between fear and excitement is what you are anticipating. Fear is the anticipation of pain or discomfort. Excitement is the anticipation of pleasure. So two people could look at the exact same upcoming event: One person will fear it because they believe it is going to be really uncomfortable. And the other person will be excited about it because they link it with high amounts of pleasure.
What we did was we literally broke that pattern in her mind using NLP, and we re-wired it to link putting herself out there (even getting rejection and getting FaceBook trolls) with high amounts of pleasure.
If that’s something that you feel would be super beneficial to you, send me an email at Eric@FeelWellLiveWell.com. Send me an email with the subject heading “Pain to Pleasure.”
I can give you some information where you can go in order to retrain your mind in order to link putting yourself out there, talking to people, and yes even getting “No’s”, linking all that with high amounts of pleasure. That way, you do it a lot more!
The more you put yourself out there, then usually the more Yes’s you’re going to get.
Recap, three ways to put yourself out there and to handle rejection a lot better:
- Set a quota for yourself of how many No’s you get. Every time you get a No, that gets you one step closer to your reward.
- Make sure you’re taking really good care of yourself to avoid rejection depression.
- Use NLP to retrain your brain to link rejection and putting yourself out there with high amounts of pleasure.
One more time, the more No’s you get, the closer you get to a Yes, which is my absolute favorite word. Love you!
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