With everything that’s going on right now, most people are trying to just keep their heads above water. There is so much uncertainty going on right now, and there are so many variables that people just don’t have right now. I know I’ve covered it this topic several times before, but I feel like this is one that bears repeating. I feel like there are people that could really benefit from this message again.
With everything that’s going on, these are the six stages of depression and what you can do in each one.
Stage 1 is the lowest stage of depression. This is when all motivation is lost, so there isn’t even motivation to not be depressed anymore. Does that make sense? You could be Tony Robbins, and you would still have zero motivation, it doesn’t matter.
It’s because when a person is down deep in stage 1 of depression, they are just trying to survive. They are just trying to take it one moment at a time, one breath at a time. They are just trying to stay alive in a way.
The one thing you can do in stage 1 is simply validate how you are feeling.
What NOT to do if you or someone else is in stage 1, is say, “Oh, just snap out of it,” or, “Hey, you have so much to be thankful for. Just show gratitude.”
Gratitude is great if you are in stage six, and we’ll get to that here in a moment. When a person is in stage 1, the thing to do is validate how you are feeling. If you’re feeling depressed, sad, or uncertainty, say, “I feel depressed” or, “I feel uncertain” or, “I feel sad right now, and that sucks!”
Or we actually use a word with our kids, it’s a really technical word and so brace yourself. The word is “poopy.” When we can tell our kids are in stage 1, we literally have them stand up, stomp their feet and say, “I feel sad, and that’s poopy!” It works because #1 it’s hard to say the word “poopy” with a straight face, and #2 feeling depressed, uncertain, or sad kinda feels poopy.
A lot of times just validating your feelings helps you to get out of stage 1 and up into a higher stage.
This is especially important for those of us in the personal development space or the healing space because a lot of times we feel like, “Wait a second, I help other people get out of depression. I help other people feel better. What right do I have to feel depressed?”
When a person has that thought, it actually causes them to go even deeper in depression because that is the exact opposite of validating. Does that make sense?
Stage 1: if you or someone you know feels just absolutely drained, no motivation at all, just wanting to stay in bed, then either you can encourage them or yourself to just say, “You know, this is how I feel, and that sucks.” And just that validation can help them get out of that.
Now the next one of course is Stage 2. That’s when you “want to want to” feel better. Does that make sense? Just the tiniest bit of motivation comes back.
If you ask, “where in your body do you feel the depression?” Usually if they are in stage 1, it’ll be kinda down towards their feet. If they are in stage 2, it will be around the navel area. And they’ll say, “You know, I’m just kinda feeling it right here in my gut. It doesn’t feel very good.” That is stage 2.
One thing to do in Stage 2 is something passive. They are not quite ready to actually overcome their depression at this stage. They are not really ready to talk about it other than validating their feelings, but they can do something passive. They can sit on the couch to watch a funny video, look at funny memes or listen to some really nice music. Just something passive. Passively getting a smile on their face helps them to get out of stage 2.
The next one is one where I’m guessing a lot of people are at right now. This is Stage 3. Stage 3 is when you want to feel better. You ‘re not quite ready to go talk to someone about it. You’re not quite ready to actually feel better, but you want to feel better. Does that make sense? Usually a person in stage 3 kinda feel it towards their heart or maybe a bit below in their solar plexus/heart area.
The one thing you do when you are in Stage 3 is to look forward to something in the future. The reason why I said this is probably where a lot of people are at right now is because there is so much uncertainty going on right now. A lot of people are like, “I don’t know what my future is going to hold.”
A lot of businesses have been affected, my own included. We were going to be doing an event this month, and we are still waiting to hear back from the venue center of what we can do.
So a lot of people are wanting to look forward to something, but they are like, “I don’t know how to look forward right now because I don’t know if I’ll be able to do xyz. I don’t know if we’ll be able to go on this trip.”
The key when you are in Stage 3 is find something that you can look forward to. It could be something in a couple minutes, or a couple hours. Like, “OK, I’m looking forward to preparing a really delicious dinner tonight.” Or, “I’m really looking forward to watching my Netflix shows tonight.”
Find something concrete. Find something you know is still going to be able to happen in these times of uncertainty, and allow yourself to look forward to it.
The reason why this is helpful is because a person in Stage 3 isn’t quite ready to look at the bright side in the present. They are not quite ready to see the lessons.
If you ask a person in Stage 3, “Tell me how awesome your life is!” They’ll just go, “It’s not. I feel depressed.” But if you say, “Tell me about something coming up tomorrow, next week, or in the next few months. Tell me about an upcoming trip you are planning.” They’ll brighten up as they tell about something they are looking forward to.
Again, a person in Stage 3 wants to feel better, and the key is find something to look forward to.
That’s my biggest challenge for you right now. Find something you can look forward to. Again, it could be a dinner you are hosting tonight. Maybe hide some little gifts or treats around the house for your kids or significant other to find. Look forward to seeing the surprise and delight on their faces. Find something to look forward to.
Next is stage 4. Usually, if you ask a person, “Where do you feel it?” It’s usually right in the throat area.
A person in Stage 4 is actually ready to feel better. This is when it is really important to actually reach out and ask for help.
It’s really important that you don’t try to overcome Stage 4 by yourself. Emotional healing was designed to take place with someone else’s help. Our bodies were designed to heal themselves physically, but not emotionally. They were designed that we need to choose in to emotional healing.
People will a lot of times feel it in their throat because they need to actually go talk to someone about it. Now this could be a friend, counselor, therapist, BEST practitioner, a mentor, coach, or whoever it is. Find a way to actually go and get help. If appropriate, go and get professional help.
If you’ve been feeling this way for quite some time, go see a BEST practitioner, go see a counselor, therapist, whoever. Go and get help and talk to someone about it.
That brings us to Stage 5: this is usually felt in the forehead. A person in Stage 5 will sometimes get headaches. If a person asks them, “Where are you feeling the depression?” They might say, “It’s weird, but I kinda feel it here in my forehead.”
This is when it is important to go get moving. A lot of times people will say, “Exercise is just as an effective anti-depressive as medications are.” That is true, if a person is in Stage 5 or above. Below Stage 5, well there’s no motivation to go out and exercise, and it’s still not going to do much good, yet.
The absolute best kind of exercise when a person is in Stage 5 is exercising out in nature. It’s Springtime now, the weather is warming up, so go for a walk or jog, go to the park, go get your heart rate up out in nature. That’s what you can do when you are in Stage 5, and that will help you get out of Stage 5.
Finally, Stage 6 usually can be felt on the top of your head. I know that sounds weird if you’ve never heard that before, but Stage 6 is when a person is finally ready to learn the lessons and show gratitude for what happened. They are finally able to look on the bright side and say, “OK, what are the lessons I can learn from this? How can I turn this negative into a positive?”
Once they are able to see the positive in whatever situation is going on and show gratitude for it, that gratitude is actually what helps to dispel that depression once and for all.
A lot of times people say, “depression can be dispelled with pure gratitude.” That’s true if a person is in Stage 6. Once they show that gratitude and celebrate what is going on, that then dispels the depression and it gets them feeling happy again.
Again, I hope that helps during this time of uncertainty.
Watch for my 5 Day, 5 Senses Happiness Challenge video – this will be fun!
If you know someone that is going through depression, even if they don’t like the D word, it’s kind of a strong word, right? Nobody wants to say, “Oh, I’m feeling depressed” because people think that’s some clinical term, and it is, but they don’t want to admit feeling depressed. Does that make sense? It’s almost like they say, “No, I’m not depressed, I’m just sad. I’m just not feeling like my usual self.”
It’s not a taboo word. Most people experience depression without even realizing it.
Please send this to people that you know would benefit from it. Please tag other people in the comments. Remember, if there’s someone that’s depressed, NEVER say, “Just snap out of it.” That doesn’t help. Don’t just say, “Well, just go outside and get moving,” unless they are in Stage 5.
Show them this post and video. Educate yourself, and help them understand where they are at, so they know what they can do in order to help them pull out of it and stay happy during these times of uncertainty.
Again, watch for my video and blog, “5 Day, 5 Senses Challenge.”
If you are not already a part of our Facebook group, Enjoy Yourself Thin, even if you don’t have extra pounds to lose, join that group because there’s a lot of amazing content. It’s totally free. Type in Enjoy Yourself Thin on Facebook, and join an amazing group of people.
Love you!
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